Article from

Russian Online Coaching in Education Conference, 23 November 2016  
Cleaning up Parent-Child Conversations

Чистый язык и символическое моделирование

Penny Tompkins and James Lawley

Translated by Svetlana Shapovaliants

Coaching your own children is not easy when you care so much and emotions are high. At these times parents often jump to conclusions, feel compelled to solve their children’s problems, and unwittingly impose their wants and values through their use of metaphor and presupposition. Despite parents’ best intentions their children often feel criticised and not listened to, and the conversation can descend into argument and withdrawal.

How do parents stay in coaching mode?

The Problem-Remedy-Outcome (PRO) model is based on David Grove’s Clean Language. It is a simple yet highly effective way for parents to keep their stuff out of a conversation and to facilitate their children to express what they want. This presentation will use story, explanation and interaction to describe an innovative way to improve parent-child conversations.

Download slides: Russian-Cleaning_Up_Parent-Child_Conversations-2016-SLIDES.pdf

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Penny and James are supervising neurolinguistic psychotherapists – first registered with the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy in 1993 – coaches in business, certified NLP trainers, and founders of The Developing Company.

They have provided consultancy to organisations as diverse as GlaxoSmithKline, Yale University Child Study Center, NASA Goddard Space Center and the Findhorn Spiritual Community in Northern Scotland.

Their book,
Metaphors in Mind
was the first comprehensive guide to Symbolic Modelling using the Clean Language of David Grove. An annotated training DVD, A Strange and Strong Sensation demonstrates their work in a live session. James has also written (with Marian Way) the first book dedicated to Clean Space: Insights in Space. Between them Penny and James have published over 200 articles and blogs freely available on their website:

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